My husband is 15 years older than me. When I first met him, his marriage was on the verge of collapse and he divorced soon after. After a while, we got to know each other and fell in love. The power of love made us withstand the pressure of the world and finally became husband and wife.
After marriage, our life was very harmonious, especially our sex life. I was satisfied and he was even more satisfied. As time went by, I unconsciously had a strange idea in my heart: Did my husband also make love with his ex-wife in this way? One night, when I was being intimate with my husband, I couldn't help asking this question and asked him to answer. He ignored me.
Before marriage, I had never had physical contact with any man. At that time, I thought it was right and proud of it. Since my husband didn't answer me that night, I felt very unbalanced in my heart. The more he didn't say, the more I wanted to know. My husband still had sex with me with great enthusiasm. Although I could also devote myself to it under his influence, I often felt unbalanced in my heart and couldn't get rid of the shadow of my husband's ex-wife. I even fantasized that if I also had sex with another man, even if it was only once, maybe I would be psychologically balanced.
I am a very obedient woman, and I want to be with my husband for the rest of my life. I know that this idea is immoral and should be condemned by my heart, but the idea still lingers. Sometimes after my husband falls asleep, I will fantasize about it alone, and gradually, this fantasy becomes a kind of repression. This repression makes me lose interest in having sex with my husband. I feel that it is always the same old tune. Even if I have impulses sometimes, there is no new feeling, as if it is just like that.
One night I finally couldn't help it and confided this to my husband. My husband was very surprised, and then he said to me solemnly and seriously: "What happened between me and my ex-wife is the past, and the past cannot be undone. Since I fell in love with you, I have never had contact with other women. How can you have such a strange idea?" I admit that my idea is wrong, but I always worry about my husband and his ex-wife. My husband patiently enlightened me and said, "We have been married for so many years. You love me and I love you more. Our feelings for each other are so deep. Do you have to worry about the past? If I am really generous and let you experience extramarital sex, will the quality of our sex life improve because of this comparison? If every remarried couple wants to even out like you, then what happiness can we talk about?"
Indeed, forgetting is the only way. I think I am too stupid. My husband has already forgotten, so why should I always remember "her". Someone has done such a survey: After the extramarital affair ends, who cares more about the third party, the lover or the rival? The result is the rival. Some wives or husbands who have been hurt not only remember the past, but also constantly remind each other "never forget", and let the third party entangled in the emotional life and sex life of the couple for decades, and they never get tired of it. Is this approach smart? Some people try another way to vent: even out. You cheated and I cheated too. You come and I go. Did they finally find psychological balance? Maybe they did, but the price was to destroy the original happiness of the couple.
We praise pure sex and love, but we overemphasize the uniqueness in form to the point of being demanding, which I think goes against its original intention.
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